The 2011 Year End Awards for FNYTSF roll on with “Picture of the Year”, which are photographs of something cute, stupid, or funny, that I have taken myself, and need to get your votes on which is the best one! And the nominees are…
On Friday, we welcomed the newest member of the family, Lawrence, into our home. He is currently confined to just one room because the people we got him from said it makes the transition easier. He is named after Maj. Gen. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. (I never thought I would be naming a grey cat after a Union general, but so be it.) Lawrence even posed for the camera, and what is amazing is that as soon as I was going to snap the picture, he turned his head to the right, in the exact same pose that the general liked to be photographed in. I see a resemblance, do you?
What pisses me off here is not that he spelled the word wrong. Had the sign been handmade or painted, it is a forgivable offense, but this was a professionally done canvas sign. Do you know the amount of stupidity and ignorance that had to transpire for this to happen? 1) The numskull owner draws up his design, without realizing he spelled “business” wrong. 2) The sign-maker receives the order and programs the printing press, without realizing the mistake. 3) The sign is printed and the maker misses it again on the finished product. 4) The sign is delivered to the customer who once again does not see the mistake. 5) This customer then hangs the sign up twice a week for months on end (it was pretty weather-beaten, so it has been up a while) without ever knowing how stupid he makes himself look. This isn’t “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” we’re talking about, it’s “business”. If you’re reading this, God, please don’t bother waiting for 2012—just do it now.
We have now had our cat Lawrence for almost two months now, and I still have not figured him out. He goes through these frisky late-afternoon moods of uncontrollable running, where, for about two hours, he will gallivant blithely around the house like a four-legged Fred Astaire. He also has a knack for getting in and out of places that he does not belong. Should he find himself in a room with a closed door, he will jump up and hang on to the knob, swinging his body until the knob turns and the door opens. And guess what, as soon as he found out where we keep the liquor, he made his grand entrance. He is also very human-like in the regard that he will only purr and come near you when he is hungry and his food bowl is empty. Once he eats, he takes a dump, the fumes of which will leave you teary eyed, then walk away and go to sleep by himself. The house is now his—we are just the mere tenants. I am also starting to think he is smarter than most humans. Granted, he can’t speak English yet, but neither can half the population of this country.
“Interview of the Year”
“Idiots of the Year”
- Voting opens December 8th