New York Rangers Sign Jeff Halpern; Trades on the Horizon?

With the New York Rangers already pretty much set with depth on their bottom-six, adding Jeff Halpern would seem like a puzzling move, unless there was more to it than meets the eye, of course. By adding Asham and Pyatt last week, they were replacements for previously departed players, but with Halpern, it may be a move to replace someone who is still on the roster. The Rangers are heavily involved with the Columbus Blue Jackets for Rick Nash, and possibly the Anaheim Ducks for Bobby Ryan and Nashville Predators for Shea Weber. A deal for either of these players would most likely include, but is not limited to, Brandon Dubinsky, Artem Anisimov, or Brian Boyle. While Halpern is not as skilled as them, and is much older, it is still a solid pick-up for the fourth line.

New York Rangers: With Eminger Down, Time to Trade for a Defenseman

Coming off a huge win over the Phoenix Coyotes, when Brad Richards scored the game-winning goal with .1 seconds remaining to give the New York Rangers the win and snap a two-game losing streak, the team finds themselves down a defenseman yet again, as Steve Eminger took a check and went shoulder first into the boards during the second period. While we do not know what exactly is wrong, we do know that he left the arena with his arm in a sling, and by looking at the replay, it seems as if he might have separated his shoulder. Severe or not, the Rangers are in a bind. Marc Staal has been out the entire season with post-concussion syndrome and Michael Sauer, more recently, suffered a concussion as well. The Rangers, who, at the beginning of the season, had one of the best defensive depths in the league, are now losing that by the game.

New York Rangers: Only Three Games In, Is It Time to Start Worrying?

The New York Rangers are on a road trip from hell. First they traveled more than 11,000 miles to Europe, through Scandinavian countries for exhibition matches, and now back to the United States, where they played one game on Long Island, and are now gearing up for yet another road trip, 3,000 miles to western Canada, to play four games against Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, and Winnipeg, before finally returning to back New York for their home opener against Toronto. This schedule, made so because of the prolonged renovation underway at Madison Square Garden, and the NHL’s fascination with having the Blueshirts travel to Europe what seems like every season, left the team exhausted for their first two games in Sweden, which they dropped to the Kings and Ducks respectively, in overtime, last weekend. With the way they played, they were lucky to have even gotten the two points. Lundqvist kept the Rangers in both games, while Gaborik and Richards were excellent together. Unfortunately, the list ends there in regards to players who actually impressed.

The Rangers could have blamed those two losses on any number of factors, which also included not having enough time to get in team practices, and playing four exhibition games on large-size hockey rinks. John Tortorella even exclaimed, “We can’t wait to get the hell out of here,” upon completion of last Saturday’s loss to Anaheim. Before last night’s game against the Islanders, he told the press that, “The season starts tonight.” If that is the case, than both starts to the season were disasters. With an entire week off to rest up, practice regularly, and prepare, the Rangers were flat once again, plagued by the same thing that dragged them down in Stockholm: penalties. The Rangers were shorthanded eight times last night, the Islanders cashing in on two of those chances. The most glaring of these undisciplined penalties came at the most inopportune time, with less than five minutes remaining, and the Rangers trailing 3-2. Marian Gaborik took the most obvious hooking penalty, one reminiscent of a pre-lockout defenseman trying to manhandle an opponent. I yelled at the TV, watching incredulously. This is the most undisciplined team I have ever seen in my life, I thought to myself. After eight last night, eight against Anaheim, and five against Los Angeles, this is not rust we are seeing, but an epidemic of laziness and stupidity.

The announcers on MSG last night mentioned just before the game that Tortorella preached better discipline to the team, and then Brandon Dubinsky takes a tripping penalty a little more than a minute in. Dubinsky, whose play has been less than lackluster all throughout the preseason and these first three games, clearly looks lost and devoid of hockey sense, and has managed to have taken 20 minutes in penalties thus far. Never being a big fan of his I-Play-Good-When-I-Want-To style of play, I wonder what will have to be done to wake him up, as with the money he is being paid, he needs to either start scoring or Sather has to start looking for a new team for the egotistical “power forward”. He is the prototypical third line center being paid second line money, who has a head the size of a superstar—not really the recipe for success, is it now?

People have also blamed these losses on the injuries to defense, because of Sauer’s recent shoulder injury and Staal’s long-term concussion problems. Aside from normal nerves and a bit of shakiness in the first two games, the Rangers young defense really has not been the issue. Would I kill to have those two guys back? Of course, but I don’t see the Rangers having any wins even with them in the lineup, with the way the offense has looked so far, and the amount of penalties that have added up.

And so I ask, is it time to start worrying? It may be only three games, but the Rangers, aside from Gaborik (2 goals) and Richards (1 goal, 2 assists), have been offensively challenged. Its not even the fact that they are not scoring, but they look terrible at times. The penalties have a lot to do with that, because a team cannot develop flow when they spend nearly an entire period’s worth of playing time in the penalty box. Though there is no “reffing” conspiracy against the Rangers as some fans may tell you, there were a few calls last night that were atrocious, including a delay of game call to Brian Boyle when the puck was still moving, and a goaltender interference penalty on Callahan, who had no way to avoid hitting the goalie. That aside, the cat is out of the bag regarding the Rangers. Word is, they are undisciplined and will take stupid penalties, so you know the referees are going to watch them even closer now.

Discipline is not something a team can learn, or hopefully, re-learn overnight. This is something scarier than if the Rangers were shutout in these three games. Lundqvist has been brilliant, and is the only reason why these losses are not blowouts. But what happens when he gets a night off or has a clunker himself? Will the team just implode? Under normal circumstances, a team would welcome a four game road trip, to get out west and get away from everything; it could be a chance to refocus. But the Rangers have been on the road for about a month now, and due to their first three games, this trip is going to be anything but fun. The Canucks have always been tough opponents, and the Flames and young Oilers team will be very tough to beat. The other foe on the swing, the Jets, are still looking for their first win—will it come against New York?

The Rangers need to win two of these four games, what could be an early season-saver. Be it as it may, only mid-October, but if the Rangers drop all four games or only win one, the hole dug will be even deeper. To the people who are not alarmed, John Davidson used to say, “The points you get in October are the points you don’t need in April”. If the Rangers keep losing, playoff chances will diminish, and it does not matter what time of the season it is. At 0-1-2, the Rangers could easily be 0-3-0, so you can imagine what a poor trip out west could mean—the future is really not too bright. With the Penguins and Flyers bound to have good seasons, and the Devils and Islanders set to surprise, we may be looking at the worst team in the Atlantic this season, without a quick turnaround.

Rangers Potentially Starting Next Season in Europe

According to ESPN, the New York Rangers are one of six teams that have been asked by the NHL to take part in the annual Premiere Games in Europe, an event that began in 2007 when the Anaheim Ducks faced off against the Los Angeles Kings in London, England. It was so successful that the Rangers and Tampa Lightning played each other the following season in Prague, Czech Republic. The NHL is going to continue with these games for the foreseeable future as they serve as free exposure for the league, and also to showcase to the up-and-coming European players that it is their league they should play for, and not the KHL.

That said, this news is just preliminary, according to ESPN as nothing has been finalized. I did not like the idea of the Rangers starting the season in Europe last time, and even though they won both games against the Lightning, it leaves a longer lasting effect on the team than the standings after game two in the season. The traveling oversees and getting used to time zones combined with an irregular preseason that consists of games played in both America and Europe causes players to sometimes not correctly get into their preseason rhythm.

I really hope the Rangers will decline this invitation because their season and development of prospects is more important than the NHL’s fascination with Europe. The article does mention that the Rangers may not be able to play at MSG early next season anyway because of renovations, but I would much rather have this team go the entire month of October on the road than take part in this gimmick.

The other teams included are the Edmonton Oilers, Washington Capitals, Buffalo Sabres, Los Angeles Kings, and Anaheim Ducks. I’m really surprised to not see Pittsburgh on that list since the world should behold the glory of Sidney Crosby.

Around the NHL: Devils Offer to Kovalchuk Revealed, Rangers Deal Voros

Steve Eminger levels Vinny Prospal in a game last November.

Let’s begin with the wild and wacky news of the day, and that is the New York Post shedding some light on what Lou Lamoriello and the New Jersey Devils have offered free agent star Ilya Kovalchuk. According to them, and other outlets, the deal is 17 years at a total of around $100 million, with the $100 million front loaded in the first 10 years of the contract.

This has gotten people speculating that the offer is more than that amount of money, and is actually around $102 million. Either way, this is very strange, because if $100 million is distributed throughout the first ten years, that means Kovalchuk will only be receiving $2 million for the last seven years, an amount equaling only approximately $286,000 per season, which is almost half of league minimum.

I try not to curse on here, but if this story is true, then Lou Lamoriello is officially bat-shit insane.

Something is just not right all around here. Lamoriello seems like the last GM on the planet who would offer something as groundbreaking and egregious as a seventeen year contract, not to mention the announced method of how the money would be given out.

Perhaps the New York Post has gotten their information wrong again, because it was just this past Sunday when they had the hockey world buzzing when they announced that the Devils were moments away from inking Kovalchuk. Ten minutes, and about a million visitors later, they then changed the headline to “Devils Have the Inside Track”. By the end of the day, it was revealed the two sides were not even heavy in talks that day.

Something strange is definitely brewing in the Kovalchuk saga. Perhaps he needs a prime-time television special of his own to help move things along.

Now to the Blueshirts, who dealt away forward Aaron Voros (who they waived three times in the last two seasons) and prospect Ryan Hillier to Anaheim for defenseman Steve Eminger. This move is an even deal for both sides, although I feel bad for Ducks fans for having to get a player as pointless as Voros is.

Dubbed the “People’s Champ” by fans, I am still trying to figure out who he is the champ of. He can’t score, can’t fight, can’t back-check, and can’t throw a body check. Oh wait, that must mean he was perfect for the Rangers.

Meanwhile, the Rangers receive a former first round pick that never panned out, Steve Eminger, who was selected by the Washington Capitals in 2002. If you want an example of a journeyman player, he is the one. In seven seasons, he has played a total of 346 games with five teams, including three in just 2008/09 alone.

He does not excel in any particular area, nor it he extremely deficient in any, except taking lazy penalties, from what I hear. 301 career penalty minutes is an awful lot to have with only five fighting majors. But even so, Eminger is a cheap option for a seventh defenseman, whose contract runs 0ut after this season, like Voros.

Do not expect anything miraculous out of him; just let him play the forty or so games that he was brought here for, and if he scores, consider it a bonus.

However, there is talk that this is just the first in a series of moves by Glen Sather that will culminate with the waiving of Wade Redden at the end of training camp.

We shall have to wait and see! (Man, I’ve been saying that a lot lately.)

Greg and Joe’s Predictions Chart: Day Two Update

Sergei Gonchar has a new home with the Ottawa Senators

Two days ago, Joe and I sat down to chart our predictions. We chose fifty of the top one hundred, and surprisingly, the top ranked Ilya Kovalchuk is still on the market. We still have some names left to sign, and this will be updated every few days throughout the summer to see who had the most correct predictions.

Chart key: Strikethrough means an incorrect prediction, bold is correct, and italics indicates the player has not signed anywhere yet.

1. Ilya Kovalchuk (NJD): Agreed on LAK

2. Sergei Gonchar (PIT): Agreed on SJS

3. Paul Martin (NJD): Agreed on OTT

4. Evgeni Nabokov (SJS): Agreed on WAS

5. Pavel Kubina (ATL): Agreed on ATL

6. Dan Hamhuis (NAS): Greg: VAN; Joe: CLB

7. Anton Volchenkov (OTT): Greg: CAR; Joe: NYI

8. Willie Mitchell (VAN): Greg: VAN; Joe: NJD

9. Zybnek Michalek (PHX): Agreed on PHX

10. Matthew Lombardi (PHX): Greg: PHX; Joe: NYR

11. Alexander Frolov (LAK): Agreed on Europe

12. Teemu Selanne (LAK): Agreed on ANA

13. Chris Mason (STL): Greg: ATL; Joe: PHI

14. Antero Niittymaki (TBL): Agreed on TBL

15. Marty Turco (DAL): Greg: PHI; Joe: SJS

16. Henrik Tallinder (BUF): Agreed on BUF

17. Ray Whitney (CAR): Greg: LAK; Joe: DET

18. Vaclav Prospal (NYR): Greg: NYR; Joe: PHX

19. Lee Stempniak (PHX): Agreed on NYI

20. Matt Cullen (OTT): Agreed on CAR

21. Olli Jokinen (NYR): Agreed on ATL

22. Toni Lydman (BUF): Agreed on BUF

23. Alex Tanguay (TBL): Greg: COL; Joe: VAN

24. Maxim Afinogenov (ATL): Greg: BUF; Joe: CLB

25. Alex Ponikarovsky (PIT): Agreed on TOR

26. Kim Johnsson (CHI): Agreed on Europe

27. Dan Ellis (SJS): Greg: SJS; Joe: MTL

28. Saku Koivu (ANA): Agreed on ANA

29. Joe Corvo (WAS): Agreed on WAS

30. Bill Guerin (PIT): Agreed on PIT

31. Brendan Morrison (WAS): Agreed on WAS

32. Joe Theodore (WAS): Agreed on Europe

33. Colby Armstrong (ATL): Agreed on TOR

34. Derek Morris (PHX): Agreed on PHX

35. Marek Svatos (COL): Agreed on Europe

36. Johan Hedburg (ATL): Greg: NJD; Joe: NYR

37. Martin Biron (NYI): Greg: NYR; Joe: CAR

38. Raffi Torres (BUF): Agreed on BUF

39. Pavol Demitra (VAN): Agreed on ATL

40. Ray Emery (PHI): Agreed on Europe

41. Chris Higgins (CGY): Greg: CGY; Joe: MIN

42. Ruslan Salei (COL): Agreed on Europe

43. Slava Kozlov (ATL): Agreed on Europe

44. Owen Nolan (MIN): Agreed on retiring

45. Mike Modano (DAL): Greg: MIN; Joe: SJS

46. John Madden (CHI): Agreed on NJD

47. Robert Lang (PHX): Greg: PHX; Joe: Europe

48. Ruslan Fedotenko (PIT): Agreed on PIT

49. Alex Auld (NYR): Greg: SJS; Joe: NJD

50. Miroslav Satan (BOS): Agreed on BOS

Totals

Predictions made: 50

Signings happened: 22

Greg’s Correct: 7 (32%)

Joe’s Correct: 3 (14%)

Nothing to write home about for either of us, but hopefully our totals will increase as the days move along!

Greg and Joe’s Second Annual NHL Free Agency Predictions

For the second straight season, Joe Aiello and I sat down to make our NHL free agent predictions. Last year we made 40 all too forgettable selections, and barely nailed any. We hope to have a little more luck this season. This year we selected 50 players from the Globe and Mail’s list of the top 100 available free agents.

Below are our picks:

1. Ilya Kovalchuk (NJD): Agreed on LAK

2. Sergei Gonchar (PIT): Agreed on SJS

3. Paul Martin (NJD): Agreed on OTT

4. Evgeni Nabokov (SJS): Agreed on WAS

5. Pavel Kubina (ATL): Agreed on ATL

6. Dan Hamhuis (NAS): Greg: VAN; Joe: CLB

7. Anton Volchenkov (OTT): Greg: CAR; Joe: NYI

8. Willie Mitchell (VAN): Greg: VAN; Joe: NJD

9. Zybnek Michalek (PHX): Agreed on PHX

10. Matthew Lombardi (PHX): Greg: PHX; Joe: NYR

11. Alexander Frolov (LAK): Agreed on Europe

12. Teemu Selanne (LAK): Agreed on ANA

13. Chris Mason (STL): Greg: ATL; Joe: PHI

14. Antero Niittymaki (TBL): Agreed on TBL

15. Marty Turco (DAL): Greg: PHI; Joe: SJS

16. Henrik Tallinder (BUF): Agreed on BUF

17. Ray Whitney (CAR): Greg: LAK; Joe: DET

18. Vaclav Prospal (NYR): Greg: NYR; Joe: PHX

19. Lee Stempniak (PHX): Agreed on NYI

20. Matt Cullen (OTT): Agreed on CAR

21. Olli Jokinen (NYR): Agreed on ATL

22. Toni Lydman (BUF): Agreed on BUF

23. Alex Tanguay (TBL): Greg: COL; Joe: VAN

24. Maxim Afinogenov (ATL): Greg: BUF; Joe: CLB

25. Alex Ponikarovsky (PIT): Agreed on TOR

26. Kim Johnsson (CHI): Agreed on Europe

27. Dan Ellis (SJS): Greg: SJS; Joe: MTL

28. Saku Koivu (ANA): Agreed on ANA

29. Joe Corvo (WAS): Agreed on WAS

30. Bill Guerin (PIT): Agreed on PIT

31. Brendan Morrison (WAS): Agreed on WAS

32. Joe Theodore (WAS): Agreed on Europe

33. Colby Armstrong (ATL): Agreed on TOR

34. Derek Morris (PHX): Agreed on PHX

35. Marek Svatos (COL): Agreed on Europe

36. Johan Hedburg (ATL): Greg: NJD; Joe: NYR

37. Martin Biron (NYI): Greg: NYR; Joe: CAR

38. Raffi Torres (BUF): Agreed on BUF

39. Pavol Demitra (VAN): Agreed on ATL

40. Ray Emery (PHI): Agreed on Europe

41. Chris Higgins (CGY): Greg: CGY; Joe: MIN

42. Ruslan Salei (COL): Agreed on Europe

43. Slava Kozlov (ATL): Agreed on Europe

44. Owen Nolan (MIN): Agreed on retiring

45. Mike Modano (DAL): Greg: MIN; Joe: SJS

46. John Madden (CHI): Agreed on NJD

47. Robert Lang (PHX): Greg: PHX; Joe: Europe

48. Ruslan Fedotenko (PIT): Agreed on PIT

49. Alex Auld (NYR): Greg: SJS; Joe: NJD

50. Miroslav Satan (BOS): Agreed on BOS

We hope everyone enjoys the free agent frenzy tomorrow afternoon! TSN will be broadcasting live coverage beginning at noon, also streaming it on their website, and it will be on the NHL Network here in the US.

Also, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter.

Around the NHL: Busy Day for Waiver Wire, Willie Huber Passes Away

We are now less than forty-eight hours away from the busiest day of the NHL off-season, free agent frenzy! Although there are not as many big names out there than there have been in year’s past, it still proves to be an exciting day, regardless of what team one cheers for.

Teams got busy this afternoon, waiving dead weight from the rosters in an attempt to free up extra space for Thursday afternoon.

The Anaheim Ducks waived Nathan Oystrick, the Lightning waived Todd Fedoruk, Florida waived Ville Koistinen, Calgary waived Ales Kotalik, the Senators said good-bye to one-time fifty goal scorer Jonathon Cheechoo, the Coyotes waived two players, Petteri Nokalainen and Jim Vandermeer, and the Rangers were the busiest, cutting ties with Aaron Voros, Donald Brashear, and Patrick Rissmiller.

One cannot help but feel bad for Rissmiller, who was signed two seasons ago to have a spot on the bottom six. The Rangers then signed Voros later that same day, and Rissmiller all but lost his job, appearing in only two games for the team since 2008. Hopefully he can find a job somewhere else and play with some regularity.

For Donald Brashear, who I actually liked, this comes as no surprise since Glen Sather announced weeks ago that he would never play another game for the Rangers. Hopefully the Rangers will handle this situation smartly, so they will not be on the hook for any of his salary.

Lastly, hopefully third time is a charm for Aaron Voros, as he was waived once again this afternoon. With the exception of a hot streak in his first month as a Ranger in 2008, he has brought absolutely nothing. No offense, no checking, and has been a relative punching bag in the majority of fights he has been in.

Something just tells me, though, that getting rid of Voros is easier said than done. He is best buddies with Henrik Lundqvist and Marian Gaborik, the two most important players on the team. Sean Avery is also thrown into the mix when these four “hang out” during the course of the season and the summer. That gives him a lot of pull with the organization, in my eyes, but hopefully that won’t stop him from finding work elsewhere.

Meanwhile, for Jonathon Cheechoo, it really is sad the fall this guy has taken since being on top of the hockey world in the 2005/06 season, when he scored 56 goals. As Adam Raider noted on the 100 Ranger Greats Facebook page, “I’m amazed at the turn Cheechoo’s career has taken. His goal totals over the years are as follows: 56, 37, 23, 12, 5. He is on pace for negative-7 goals next season.”

As a sad note, the Rangers and Red Wings lost a former long-time member of their defensive corps today, Willie Huber, who passed away due to a heart attack. Huber appeared in 655 games with the Rangers and Red Wings, as well as brief stints with the Vancouver Canucks and Philadelphia Flyers. He recorded 104 goals and 217 assists for 321 career points. He was an all-star in 1983 in the midst of a 43 point season.

Huber will be remembered mainly as a Red Wing, as he had his best offensive seasons there. But I will always remember watching him on episodes of Rangers Classics on MSG, during the Rangers thrilling playoffs runs in the 1980′s with the New York Islanders and Philadelphia Flyers.

He was way too young to go. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

The Busiest Day in Hockey Not Called Draft Day or Free Agent Frenzy

Today the National Hockey League and their fans witnessed a myriad of action, including a major trade, signing, hall-of-fame inductions, and a retirement of a marquee, veteran defenseman. Last week, TSN’s Bob Mackenzie said this coming week leading up to the draft would be busy, and boy was he right!

Early in the day the Bruins and Panthers swapped cornerstones when Florida traded center Nathan Horton for defenseman Dennis Wideman. This is a very even trade as the Bruins can use the offensive help, and the Panthers have always been in search of defense.

Then the NHL released all team schedules for the 2010/11 season, something that has been expected for the last few days. The Rangers will open up the season in Buffalo on October 9 and play one more road game against the Islanders before heading home for a Friday opening night against the Maple Leafs.

A few hours after that, it was then announced that the Montreal Canadiens re-signed center Tomas Plekanec to a six year/$30 million deal. He may be valuable to Canadiens fans but I still think he is just a flash-in-the-pan and I thank them for making it so the Rangers would not seek to acquire him.

The Hockey Hall of Fame also announced their inductions for 2010, including two women, for the first time in the Hall’s history. Cammi Granato and Angela James will lead the way followed by the long-awaited induction of superstar Dino Ciccarelli.In the builder category, Jimmy Devellano and Darryl Seaman will be headed there.

For Dino, it is about time and the long delay was most likely because of problems he had with reporters and his personal life during his playing career. Although that should never be a factor, it was glaringly obvious that a player with more than 600 goals would have to wait eleven years.

The most recent piece of news, though, it actually kind of sad. Long-time Cup winning defenseman Scott Niedermayer will be hanging them up, as he announced his retirement today, following that of Rob Blake from the other day.

I do not remember a day in the off-season not Draft Day or July 1 that was as busy as this for the sport of hockey. We still have tonight left, and it will be interesting to see if any other moves are made. But for now, that’s my wrap-up.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter for the latest hockey related news and updates.

What Lies Ahead for the New York Rangers (Satire…maybe)

The first time I wrote one of these prediction pieces was back on Metro Hockey, and I must say, I did not come close with any of them, except the one where I had Chris Higgins scoring his first goal in February. That was borderline. But here it is, what lies ahead for the New York Rangers!

June 15, 2010: The Rangers cash in on the future considerations they acquired from the Nashville Predators in the deal that sent Hugh Jessiman packing. In return, the Rangers get two packs of Pemmican beef jerky and a case of Gatorade.

June 16, 2010: The Predators file a grievance with the NHL office. The title of their memo: “Trade Backsies”.

June 25, 2010: The Rangers select Hugh Jessiman’s brother Louie with the tenth pick in the draft. They then trade Chad Johnson for the rights to draft Hugh’s other brother Dewey.

June 26, 2010: The Rangers, after realizing their mistake, trade Louie and Dewey to the Ducks. Nashville then trades Hugh to Anaheim as well.

June 29, 2010: Anaheim Ducks fold.

June 30, 2010: Jim Balsillie attempts to buy the Ducks and re-locate them to Hamilton.

July 1, 2010: With no center for Marian Gaborik, the Rangers offer Betty White a two year deal worth $8 million. She tells Sather she will think it over.

July 2, 2010: A Facebook group starts up begging Betty White to take the deal.

July 3, 2010: Betty White signs the deal with the Rangers, but only if she is granted a full no trade clause.

July 4, 2010: The Rangers re-sign Enver Lisin to a three year contract worth $10 million after Artem Anisimov held Gordie Clark at gun point.

July 5, 2010: The Rangers banish Wade Redden to Hartford, where he then flees the country and signs a fifteen year deal worth $100 million with a KHL team.

October 4, 2010: The Rangers open up the season with Betty White at center, Marian Gaborik at right wing, and a wax figure of Bea Arthur on left wing.

October 6, 2010: Sean Avery gets into his first locker room scuffle of the season when he calls Betty White an “old lady”. She knocks him out with one punch.

November 1, 2010: The Rangers begin the season 0-8-1.

November 2, 2010: In an attempt to shake up the team, Glen Sather fires Mike Sullivan and replaces him with a  cigar store Indian.

November 3, 2010: John Tortorella suffers a stroke during pre-game warm-ups when he yells at Steve Valiquette for letting in soft goals. En route to the hospital, Ryan Callahan breaks it to him that Steve Valiquette hasn’t been on the team for a year.

November 10, 2010: Chris Drury holds a television press conference yelling at his fellow players and blaming them for the poor start. At every commercial break John Giannone reminds the audience that they are having technical difficulties with the microphone, accounting for the low volume of Chris’s speech. The microphone was fine.

November 28, 2010: The Rangers win their first game of the season, a 19-1 triumph over the Phoenix Coyotes in front of 500 fans in Glendale, all of which are Petr Prucha’s family members.

December 1, 2010: Glen Sather quits his job as GM of the Rangers and is replaced in the interim by Neil Smith.

December 2, 2010: The Rangers designate the Bea Arthur wax figure for assignment. However she leaves leading the team in +/-.

December 3, 2010: Neil Smith signs Mark Messier, Craig MacTavish and Kevin Lowe.

December 4, 2010: Betty White retires after suffering an incurable groin pull injury.

December 23, 2010: The Rangers lose their tenth game in a row by the score of 18-0. Chris Drury announces it will not ruin his Christmas.

December 30, 2010: The Rangers sign Chris Chelios to a one game contract.

December 31, 2010: The Ranger players all gather together to watch the ball drop. Chelios tells them to stop staring at him when in the shower.

And thus the crystal ball ends. Ain’t the future great?