Rick Perry: A Gift to Writers Everywhere

Okay, so we all know that Rick Perry does not have the greatest memory, thanks to a performance in a recent debate where he attempted to list three agencies he would eliminate as president, and then, in front of the entire world, forgot the third one mid-sentence. This truly is a forgivable offense, because public speaking is an art that some people just cannot master. I have always thought of Perry as somewhat of a harmless buffoon, because I did not think the American people would vote for such an idiot, but I should know better, because they voted for his twin brother, George W. Bush. Perry’s latest action, in an attempt to save his dwindling campaign, was to release a 30-second ad stating how strong he is, and giving his brief thoughts on what is wrong with America. Well, a bad economy be damned, apparently, that is small potatoes for Rick. In his ad, which has since gone viral, the unabashed fanatical Christian crusader had the following to offer:

Save Halloween: Costumes Slowly but Surely Being Banned from Schools

Well, less than two hours after I expressed my affection for Halloween, I now have to express my anger. Over the last few years, we have seen a growing number of schools across the country banning students from wearing costumes on Halloween, and some even going so far as to ban mention of the day all together. Most recently, a public school district in Springfield, Illinois has been added to the list, because administration cites the costumes as being “disruptive”. While that very well may be their reason, most likely, the reasons from other schools are a lot more political. Before we go blaming the liberal left for being too politically correct, let me just point out that if anyone would want to ban children from celebrating this holiday in school, it would actually be the religious right, because Halloween began as a pagan holiday, and there are still many sects of Christianity that believe the celebration of it today is evil, unholy and godless. Gee, such strong words for little kids going around asking for candy, I know, but this is the world we live in. Either the left is trying to destroy Christmas, or the right is trying to destroy Halloween, it all amounts to the uneasy world that the children of this generation are growing up in.

Both sides to the story are asinine, and I believe that people of all faiths should be able to express their feelings on the day of their major holiday. As I wrote about last winter, when I tackled the political correctness of the Christmas Holiday Season, do people really get upset, or do they just have too much time on their hands? What would happen if the horror of a Jewish person saying “Happy Hanukkah” to a Christian would ensue, or vice versa? Would both people suddenly spontaneously combust? We are seeing it with Halloween now, where people who do not care to partake in such a fun holiday are upset by seeing those who do. Basically, it’s like, “If I can’t have any fun, neither will you.” When I was in elementary school, I distinctly remember a girl in our class who was a Jehovah’s Witness. She was not allowed to wear a costume or eat any of the candy/food we had during our party. But she was not nasty about it, and she actually enjoyed looking at the costumes worn by the other children. She did not seem too upset at all—she had her religious convictions, and was perfectly fine with seeing those who differ from her celebrate the holiday. I gather her parents were fine with it too, because otherwise they would have kept their child out of school that day, because there was never any real work given out to begin with.

But no, now it has to eclipse that. Saying that costumes disrupt schoolwork is not a good enough excuse. Halloween is only one single day out of the entire year. What that amounts to is 179 other days for children to work in school. Maybe they can have the teachers plan “fun” work that day, involving the holiday and how it has transformed from the pagan, Celtic feast of Samhain to what we all know and love today. Heck, maybe they will even learn something and not even know it. There are plenty of documentaries and activities to do on that one day that would make everybody happy.

Throughout my life, the celebration of this day has transformed right before my very eyes. When I was in elementary school, the wearing of costumes was encouraged, and we even had contests throughout the day. Then, when I got to 5th grade, our district shifted schools around, and my new school became K through 6th. The principal specifically told us that we 5th and 6th graders should not wear costumes, because it was something for the younger children only, and we should show “maturity”. That pissed off our parents some, because we were still only 10 or 11 at that time. When I moved on to middle school, costumes were once again encouraged, and the same in high school, where many of the teachers put us students to shame with the extravagant costumes they came in with. There was little or no work that day, and it was actually a fun time to be in school. While I cannot say what my former schools are doing now, except for that episode I experienced while in 5th and 6th grade, Halloween was generally a positive day, and if it fell on the weekend, we would just dress up on the nearest Friday.

Halloween is yet another holiday being destroyed by politics. I am not going to lay the final blame on a particular party or ideology here. The two sides continuously ruin the lives of adults, but now they are ruining the lives of the kids. The world is terrible enough as it is, so do we need to keep going that extra step? One day out of the year, people are allowed to dress funny and have fun at work or school. It is a tradition that has been around for generations, and it is one that needs to stay in place. This holiday is a part of our American culture, and it is time more people stood up to protect it.

Idiot of the Week: Michele Bachmann

Just weeks ago, Sarah Palin left us with an endearing history lesson on Paul Revere’s ride, where he actually tried to warn the British by firing warning shots and ringing bells, but now, yet another T.E.A Party favorite has educated us on our Founding Fathers. Earlier this year, Michele Bachmann told the world that the founders of our country “worked tirelessly to end slavery”, a statement that George Stephanopoulos on ABC confronted her with this morning. I will rebuke that in a moment, but let me first say that this Idiot of the Week award should really go to the T.E.A Party as a whole, because no other organization has altered history and lied more than they have in recent years, except, of course, the US Government (ha-ha-ha). They make it up as they go along, whether unintentionally because they are stupid or on purpose because they are banking on their followers not being educated enough. The hardcore believers in their fiery rhetoric, which began with a common goal to end taxes, have turned into inciteful rallies, where taxes seem to be at the bottom of the totem pole, and they seem to just eat up whatever these gems say.

When Sarah Palin made her asinine comments last month, her followers actually went on Wikipedia to edit Paul Revere’s page, so that the facts matched what Palin had said. Palin then stood by her remark, just as Bachmann stood by her’s today on ABC. Clearly wrong, because our “Founding Fathers” did not work tirelessly to end slavery, she defended what she had said. This is another trademark of their movement, to lie or distort the truth, and then never admit fault, thus assuring their not-so-bright followers that they are correct. To get to her actual statement, George Washington owned 216 slaves while Thomas Jefferson owned 130. Yes Michelle, I can see them in the abolitionist movement, can’t you? These two presidents, two of the founders of our nation, were two of the biggest slaveholders this country has ever had. Then, to try to win out on the little debate, she throws in the name John Quincy Adams to save herself. While Adams did not support slavery, and favored emancipation, his presence came nearly 50 years after the Declaration of Independence was written, and 38 after the Constitution, which she throws into the conversation for no reason at all—when in doubt, just tell people that something is “unconstitutional”.

Should this lady, or Palin, win the 2012 presidential election, I fully expect my taxes to end overnight, and be automatically reimbursed, since we have all been “Taxed Enough Already”. After all, isn’t this the gist of their movement? Not showboating around the country making a fool of this nation for all the world to see? Besides, taxes are just a creation of the Obama administration and clearly did not exist before he took office.

Sorry to drift around in this article but I am just dumbfounded yet again at the quality of our candidates. I cannot tell you how bad people like Bachmann and Palin would be for this country, because to generalize people like them, and some hardcore Republicans, they only care about two things: religion and fierce patriotism. They do not care about lowering taxes like they say, they just want to make you think they love America, and then attack those they do not see as being patriotic. I used to be a patriotic person until I realized how messed up this country is. Conservatives take it to an entirely different level, and if you are not on their side, or God forbid, a “liberal”, then you are automatically labeled as evil and un-American. Just read their papers and listen to their rallies and you will see. In their eyes, there can be no liberal Americans, because to be liberal is to be progressive and open-minded, and what are the Republicans? The “Grand Old Party” that does not want real change of any kind. Take the John McCain election convention back in 2008. The crowd chants and the fiery rhetoric was reminiscent of Nazi Germany, and I do not use that term lightly. They were yelling “Country First!” and “America First!”, which I believe were their official campaign slogans. So basically, it meant, “Vote for us or you are not a good American.” I get this vibe from Palin and Bachmann most definitely, neither of whom have done anything to warrant running for president. But this is the country we live in, where complete idiots get put on a pedestal for the rest of the world to see.

One last item on Bachmann, and it is when she said on Monday night that President Obama is “threatened” by her candidacy. She also went on to say, “”He fears me. He sees me as a serious, substantive competitor. I think he sees that I have a very clear path to victory for the nomination. And, I think he wants to do whatever he can to diminish me because he thinks he’ll have to see me in the debates. That’s my intent, to take him on in the debates and to win and take the voice of the people that I serve to the White House.” Oh Michele, Michele, Michele…I bet Obama is just shaking in his boots at the thought of you; shaking with laughter.

At the end of the year, this blog is going to have a vote on who the “Idiot of the Year” is, by taking into account all the “Idiot of the Week” winners that I have blogged about. The other nominees are:

1. Donald Trump

2. Harold Camping

3. Sarah Palin

4. Anthony Weiner

Idiot of the Week: Donald Trump

Normally, this goes at the end of my “Week in Review” article that gets published on Sunday nights, but since my week has been filled with so many wonderful things that trump this one (no pun intended), I figured I would just throw out my nomination tonight. Drum-roll please….this week’s ultimate idiot goes to none other than Donald Trump, after President Obama finally released his birth certificate to shut up the egotistical 2012 presidential hopeful. As I said in my manifesto on politics last week, I do not favor one party over the other, but you have to admit, this move by Obama (including his follow-up speech) was nothing short of brilliant in making the “birther” contingent of the Republican Party look like a bunch of fools.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be defending Barack Obama, a president who I vehemently did not want in office last election, but after these last few weeks, I have grown to respect the man little by little. Not to say that I would vote for him in 2012, because as I stated last time, I am done with partisan politics, but I admire how he handled the situation. Had it been me that was being attacked (but I’m white and my name is Greg, so I wouldn’t have been), I would have said, “Screw you. You’re not getting it.” which was pretty much what happened in the last month or so. One would have thought that Trump’s holy crusade would have faded away, but instead, it only grew. He made speeches, appeared on television and radio, unleashing a furor of barbaric absurdity trying to convince people that Obama was not an American citizen. The main reason for this being that no one had ever seen his birth certificate.

When has any other politician been asked to show it? To be honest, I really do not understand Trump’s angle at all. Call me naive, but I am 19 years old and have only seen my certificate once, when I got my driver’s license and needed to show six points of identification. I’ve been best friends with someone since I was four years old, and have never seen his. I also do not know of anyone who carries it around with them in their violin case. This was just Trump and the fringe-conservatives trying to grab whatever little shred of a possibility they could find. There was never any proof of their preposterous claim, so they jumped at this dismal opportunity.

Finally, after months of this nonsense, Obama released it yesterday. It truly was a sad day for America, because this whole situation is testament to how dumb we really are as a country. Then again, half the people here still think he is a Muslim.

Back to Trump, what did he really accomplish here? We have soldiers dying in the Middle East every day, an economy in the crapper,  gas approaching $4 a gallon, and you’re worried about a piece of paper, Donald? Have you nothing better to do with your life, one that you remind us every chance you get at how successful it is? This was all nothing but a frenzy stirred by racial unease, I am convinced. If Obama was white, this would not have happened. If Obama’s name was not one letter removed from Snapple investor Osama Bin Laden, this would not have happened.

This country is an absolute disgrace, because we put on this charade in front of the entire world, and Trump is partially to blame. Say goodbye to your chances at the presidency in 2012, if you were even going to run in the first place. Jesse Ventura is right: Donald Trump, you are nothing but an attention whore. Donald Trump, you are an idiot.