Are the Islanders Inventing Injuries for Rick DiPietro?

This would be hilarious if it wasn’t dealing with a person’s health. Oh whatever, it’s still hilarious.

The franchise goaltender of the New York Islanders, Rick DiPietro, who is five years into his 15-year contract, is injured yet again, this time with an adductor injury. Yes, an adductor injury. What is that, you may be wondering? Well, according to Blueshirt Banter’s Jim Schmiedberg who did a Webster’s Dictionary check to see what this mysterious injury means, he found, “A muscle that draws a body part towards the median line.” In other words, even Webster’s doesn’t know what the hell it is.

After looking at some human anatomy diagrams, this appears to be a fancy way of saying that DiPietro has a pulled groin muscle—just the latest in a string of lower body injuries to Long Island’s marquee man. The Islanders could have at least showed us common courtesy by creating an injury that we all recognize, not by pulling a fancy-schmancy name out of a hat. He has played only two full seasons since inking the NHL’s longest contract ever, and in the last three seasons, including this one, he has played a grand total of 29 games. This proves that egregious, long-term deals are more trouble than they are worth, and never lead to anything but mockery and frustration. At least Lou Lamoriello paid attention to that.

With Dwayne Roloson traded to Tampa Bay last week, DiPietro is now the Islanders top-man again, that is, if he can stay healthy. In regards to the trade, I find it hard to believe that Roloson himself was not injured, because after hearing news of a trade away from that franchise, I would have jumped so high, my head would have smashed through the ceiling.

Speaking of hilarity, this was a screen-shot I took off of the Islanders website three weeks ago. I find it hard to not laugh while reading that description:

And so the saga of Rick DiPietro continues. They should be thankful to the New Jersey Devils, whose play has caused them to be the laughingstock of the league. Oh, who am I kidding, the Islanders are still funnier. I can only hope that the league will step in and put this franchise out of its misery. Kansas City is calling, boys!

I guess Wang’s idea of a lighthouse really is a bad idea. DiPietro would probably hurt himself climbing the stairs in the grand opening ceremony.

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2 thoughts on “Are the Islanders Inventing Injuries for Rick DiPietro?

  1. Bret

    The Islanders have 3 options where they should move and they should jump on it ASAP.Either go in with the Wilpons and move to Queens(which by the way would help them alot,especially with more fans coming to games),Brooklyn is another option or they could always go to Hartford,Ct. where they are wanting an NHL franchise again so bad.Howard Baldwin is working to get a new arena and that could be the best option for the Islanders if they decide to leave the state of New York.They already have fans in Ct. anyway,a farm team in Bridgeport and Ct. would support them big time.The only reason the Whalers left was because they wanted one of two things,a new arena,or a cut of the pay from parking,which they never received a dime of at all.The gov. at the time was only concerned about bringing the New England Patriots to Hartford,so he said goodbye to the Whalers and we all know what happened after that.The Patriots in the end were only using Hartford as leverage to get their new stadium in Foxboro and the Whalers moved to Carolina and went to the Stanley Cup Finals twice,one it once.

  2. Jim Haggerty

    Greg,

    Thanks for the anatomy lesson. I use an adductor machine in the gym and now I know it is for the groin muscles. I’ve heard of guys completely tearing the groins from the bone and I see how that is a serious condition that requires surgery.

    If tthe fake injury premise is true, it does not make sense. From what I have read, DiPietro gets his $4.5 million per every year through 2021 unless he retires. Why would the Islanders sit him if he is healthy? If they are harboring thoughts of trading him, keeping him on the bench with fictitious injuries is hurting his trade value. Given his contract I have to figure he will continue to play as long as he is able to get out of bed in the morning. It is clear that DiPietro is the NHL version of Carl Pavano when he was with the Yankees except DiPetro’s contract is much longer and more costly. Too early to tell but it will be interesting to see whether Ilya Kovalchuk’s contract surpasses that of DiPietero as the worst contract in NHL history.

    As an aside, I can pretty well guarantee that I am the only reader of your blog who has actually been to DiPietro’s hometown of Winthrop, Massachusetts–several times in fact on business. It was a popular beach destination for the wealthy in the early part of the 20th Century, now it is a mostly middle-class suburb northeast of Boston a short ride from downtown on the Blue Line.

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