Was it too good to be true? Was two weeks in a row without having an idiotic story of some kind too much to ask? Apparently so, because after last week being nothing but good news, in just the first two days of this week alone, we totally made up for it:
- Tuesday began with a bang in chemistry class with the conclusion of two weeks of student presentations, which could have been on anything having to do with the subject. It was here where we all learned the dramatic and shocking truth that a “Water-Oil Separator” actually separates water from oil. I can die a happy man now.
- On that same evening, I attended a meeting for one of the historical societies I work for, which will remain nameless along with the people involved. Let’s just say we have a secretary who isn’t the brightest bulb in the box. I walk into the office with my co-worker and automatically I am hit with the sensation of feeling stupid…then she opened her mouth. This is a woman who once called me and temporarily forgot what her own name was when leaving a message on his voicemail, just keep that in mind. This is also a woman who after you deal with on a regular basis, will leave you asking yourself, “How did you live to be this old? How do you survive in the real world? Can you drive a car without getting into an accident in your driveway?” So there I was, standing there near the copy machine when she asked me, “Greg, can you help me with something on the computer?”. I walked over to where she was sitting and replied, “Sure, what is it?” to which she responded, “I don’t know.”. I actually had to step back for a moment. I looked over at my friend who was literally holding onto the copier shaking, trying not to laugh. I wanted to scream, “What do you mean, you don’t know?!” You’re the one that asked me! Did you forget or just never know what you wanted to begin with? After staying calm and fixing the nonexistent problem, I headed upstairs to the meeting, my IQ considerably lower than it was before. In a way, I should not have been surprised: after all, this is a woman, who at the last meeting, walked around the place for almost two hours complaining about how hot it was, without ever realizing that she still had her jacket on.
- Friday came with another fantastic quote from our lovely secretary in the bullet above (heh, bullet…there’s an idea). She called up Jeff early in the morning to ask him something and as the conversation went along, the Civil War came up, since we all discussed it at the last meeting. It was then when she asked him, “What day was the Civil War?”. Upon Jeff informing her that the war actually lasted four years, she was floored.
- Onto some good news, Vinny and I just got our summer hockey camp for MTRS published in their program, which makes it official. I cannot wait for this, because these kids were great during the league, most of which had never even played before, and to get a chance to work with them for an entire week, three hours a day, is a fantastic opportunity to convert this school from basketball fever to hockey fever (don’t tell them I said that!). I will be running these in the same format that I do with the county park system I coach at. Camps are open to children from any school, so if you have friends or family in grades 1-8 that have an interest in hockey, and live near Atlantic Highlands, NJ, please spread the word.
- Some blog news: I said last month that we would be approaching 100,000 reads this month, and two days ago, we finally hit that milestone. I thanked all of you in my one year anniversary article, but I will thank you again for your readership!
- Finally, this was a joke I heard a few weeks ago from one of the coaches at the school. When he told it, no one laughed except me, and I was only laughing at the fact that nobody else laughed, which I thought was hilarious. Here it is: “Why was Superman’s wife mad at him? Because she’s a wife!”
Did you witness something stupid this week? Have a good story that you would like included in the next column? Email it to me, and if it deals with stupidity in some way, I’ll publish it in the next edition!
Click here to read last week’s edition.