Independence Day in One Paragraph


The 4th of July truly is an American holiday, not just because it commemorates this country’s [unfortunate] rebellion from a much more stable and civilized Great Britain, but because of how we go about celebrating it. Just think about the average American for a second: for 364 days of the year, all they will do is complain about this country; how they hate the government, hate the politicians, hate the direction we are heading, presumably to hell in a handbasket, and doing much ignorant condemning of all things American. They talk about how great America used to be, and how sad they are at the poor excuse this nation has become—an embarrassment, and a beacon of consumerism, ignorance, irresponsibility, and hypocriticism to the rest of the world. Then Independence Day comes around and these same people post patriotic pictures on Facebook while singing “God Bless America” and wearing red, white, and blue clothing to barbecues, where they will proceed to consume numerous pounds of unhealthy foods and copious amounts of alcohol. Then, once it gets dark, we cap off the celebration by blowing stuff up. Food, alcohol, and explosions are the Holy Trinity of our American holidays and celebrations, even Thanksgiving, when the explosiveness translates from fireworks to having to spend the entire day with your family.


4 thoughts on “Independence Day in One Paragraph

  1. vinny

    I guess every American has a hand in everything that you stated…but truth said….we have what others hate us for….freedom…thanks for a reality check

  2. Chris Evans

    The great writer and Civil War veteran Ambrose Bierce had in his ‘Fantastic Fables’ a fable entitled ‘The Good Government’ that your post reminded me of:

    The Good Government

    “What a happy land you are!” said a Republican Form of Government to a Sovereign State. “Be good enough to lie still while I walk upon you, singing the praises of universal suffrage and descanting upon the blessings of civil and religious liberty. In the meantime you can relieve your feelings by cursing the one-man power and the effete monarchies of Europe.”

    “My public servants have been fools and rogues from the date of your accession to power,” replied the State; “my legislative bodies, both State and municipal, are bands of thieves; my taxes are insupportable; my courts are corrupt; my cities are a disgrace to civilisation; my corporations have their hands at the throats of every private interest—all my affairs are in disorder and criminal confusion.”

    “That is all very true,” said the Republican Form of Government, putting on its hobnail shoes; “but consider how I thrill you every Fourth of July.”


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