And I’ve seen ‘em all, or at least a few episodes of every one of these series which happens to blare across my television screen in the late afternoon hours as I try to get some time in on my exercise bike. It was by this chance misfortune that I am able to review Amish Haunting for you, the latest and greatest paranormal-themed show from that treasure trove of goodies that are not good enough to make the Discovery Channel, yes, the graveyard of sub-par entertainment reality known as Destination America. In order for me to adequately describe Amish Haunting, I would need a thesaurus and a glass—no, a bottle—of Johnnie Walker Red, if I had to watch an episode in its entirety, as the shows slaves away and harps on centuries old traditions of evil within the seemingly peaceful Amish culture, located mainly in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and parts of Ohio. This show, which comes on with a tour-de-force opening credits and disclaimer, giving it the illusion of being something groundbreaking, is a laughable, disgusting mess that fails to scare, except by way of how scary the acting is. These are the stories of ghost stories within the Amish community, the ones you would not get while sitting down for a $5.99 country breakfast at Diener’s Buffet in Ronks. The opening credits mention how these stories have always existed, but only now are the Amish ready to tell their story! But wait, there’s more!
This might be the most difficult list I have ever compiled. As an avid horror film enthusiast, I had to narrow down my top ten of all-time, out of the 177 horror movies I have seen to date, according to my IMDB account. For good measure, I added three honorable mentions to get us to a lucky 13. When it comes to horror, generally I like older films; those campy, cult-classics or ones that make you think, even if they are not really scary. Very rarely do I see one nowadays and actually enjoy it. Horror has always been a rewarding genre because you can take so much from them: you can be scared or mystified, which is the goal, but if one is so bad, you can get some humor by making fun of how deplorable it was. But on this list, there are no such films. These are my absolute favorites, for various reasons. The ones I could watch over and over again!
Honorable Mention 1: The Pit and the Pendulum (1961; Roger Corman)
Honorable Mention 2: In the Mouth of Madness (1994; John Carpenter)
Honorable Mention 3: Vampyr (1932; Carl Theodore Dreyer)
10. The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971; Robert Fuest)
There is only one word needed to describe this film: bizarre. There can be no other film like it—it is that unique. It plays out like an acid-trip set to organ music from start to finish, as we follow the post-resurrection life of Dr. Anton Phibes (Vincent Price), who was possibly killed but definitely horribly disfigured in a car accident many years earlier. Dying in the crash was his beloved wife, who he is still madly in love with, and whom he seeks vengeance for. Also, a biblical scholar in addition to being a world-renown organ player, Phibes begins to murder every doctor and nurse who worked on his wife after the crash and failed to save her. Each death would be a variation on the different biblical plagues. Everything about this movie is outrageous. The costumes, sets, and music. Everything! It is a one of a kind film that you have to see to truly know how unique it is. If some of the murders and, uh, daily habits, of Phibes do not make you squirm, his self-embalming in a glass coffin to a brass band tune of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in the finale will certainly leave you comically uneasy. The first time you watch it, “What the hell did I just watch?” comes to mind, but with each viewing you will realize that this is a hidden gem of horror film-making.
As you may know, I will be having a book published and released this coming September. Perhaps it was fate that led me to this publication, because just a few months ago, not only was there no book written, but I did not have any aspiration to write one after many frustrating attempts to get something done all ended in failure. I either finished a manuscript and never had the drive to edit it and send it in to try to get it published, or started on a tear and cranked out a lot of pages before losing interest and not completing it. This spring, when my computer crashed and I lost nearly every document I had written in the previous seven years, my mind was pretty much made up for me: it’s just not in the cards—focus on something else, Greg. My paranormal investigating hobby has kept me extremely busy since last September, when I co-founded Haunted Travels along with Jake Reid, which is a web series that we shoot whenever we have the chance. So I focused on that. I have also found a home at Strauss Mansion, working for their board, and being the go-to guy for paranormal investigations. After several very successful public investigations and lectures there in May, it dawned on me: I have enough notes, stories, and experiences written down about this place that I could very well have a book here. I started typing them up and throwing it all together. It was not exactly long enough, but with a few chapters on background information on ghost hunting methods and technology, as well as a brief history of the hobby and some thoughts on popular culture, I realized why yes, yes I do have a book here.
There is an old saying that goes, “When legend becomes fact, print the legend.” That is exactly what the late-Gertrude Neidlinger, former curator of the Spy House Museum in Port Monmouth, did during her time from the 1970’s through the 90’s; only she went one step further: she did not just print the legend, she made it up entirely.
There might not be a more alluring and mysterious house in all of New Jersey than the humble, little establishment that rests close to the beach overlooking New York City on what was once known as Shoal Harbor. It is a building, historically known as the Seabrook-Wilson House (two families that made it their residence during its history), and more affectionately by folklorists and locals, as the Spy House, that has many different myths and legends surrounding it, that have been cultivated over the last few decades. It is a house that is so incredibly rich in history that one would imagine it too good to be true. In fact, after doing some investigating and researching, I have found that might be exactly the case.
I didn’t want Tanner Glass either, but as I said yesterday on Twitter, amidst an overabundance of complaints about his signing, if the biggest thing Ranger fans have to complain about this off-season is an annual salary of $1.45 million being paid to a fourth liner, then that means Glen Sather did not do so bad after all. It’s a case of damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Sather didn’t, hence the damning, and a furious one at that. The onslaught continues on social media today towards the team for signing a bottom-three grinder who really is not that good. Yes, I am disappointed, but it’s not the end of the world, and what’s done is done. In the weeks leading up to the beginning of free agency, I saw many a post from fans hoping that Sather “learned from his past mistakes” and will not sign anyone to a long-term deal. He didn’t. Now, fans complain that he did not make any big moves. Would you have rather had him blow everyone out of the water and offer perennial 60-point center Paul Stastny a seven-year deal, then complain when he does not turn into a 100-point scorer overnight? There were not that many players on the free agent market that had interest in coming to New York, or would have fit if they did, both physically and salary cap speaking. Instead of putting his ability to re-sign RFA’s Mats Zuccarello, Chris Kreider, Derick Brassard, and John Moore in jeopardy, he went out and signed veteran defenseman Dan Boyle for two years/$9 million, a steal, brought back Dominic Moore for 2 years/$3 million, which is pure perfection, and Tanner Glass at a questionable three years/$4.35 million. Horrible? Not exactly. Puzzling? Yes. Based on the reaction from fans, it is like he is the be all, end all of signings this season, as if the fan base was promised gold and given a tin cup instead. Ranger fans are some of the most passionate and knowledgeable in all of sports, but my goodness, there certainly are some dumb ones out there.
The New Jersey Devils are coming off a season where they were the oldest team in the NHL, at just under 30 years of age. With their signings today, they have just gotten older, which is quite an accomplishment considering they had nowhere to go but down. After 27-year-old defenseman Mark Fayne followed the money trail to Edmonton, along with Benoit Pouliot of the New York Rangers, the Devils added wingers Mike Cammalleri (32) and Martin Havlat (33), and just recently as I write this, goaltender Scott Clemmensen (36) to be Cory Schneider’s backup this season. The Cammalleri contract certainly leaves a lot to be desired, but overpayment was the order of the day, and the Devils had to cough up $5 million per season on a five-year deal, which is pretty steep for a guy who has never played a full season and has been on the decline since 2009 when he signed a mega-deal with Montreal. Since then, he has not surpassed 26 goals or 50 points. As for Havlat, he is the dictionary definition of fragile, also never playing a full season, and having one of the more injured records of any player currently in the league. Since 2005, he has suffered two season-ending shoulder injuries, and played only 48 games last season due to a lower body injury. During the campaign, he scored 12 goals and 10 assists. He is not really much of a gamble, since it is a one-year deal for only $1.5 million. You could argue that it is a low risk, high reward deal, because if he stays healthy, he could really provide an offensive spark. However, speed has always been his biggest asset and a catalyst for his offense, and that too has been on a decline for the past few seasons.
Today, I will be posting some quick hits, or my thoughts on some of the signings we have seen during free agent frenzy this afternoon, which is living up to its nickname. We have seen a lot of deals so far, some good, and some bad. Here are three of them:
Benoit Pouliot to Edmonton (5 years/ $20 million)
Though he had a career year in points scored last season (15-21-36), the journeyman Pouliot was immensely and grossly overpaid by the Edmonton Oilers today, a team that has no choice but to throw the checkbook at free agents in order to sign them. Pouliot has been on five teams during his eight NHL seasons, and did not find any consistency until this past season with the Rangers, while on a line with Mats Zuccarello and Derick Brassard. This led many of us to believe that he would want to stay with the Rangers, so that he career might enjoy more success. However, even with how well he played last season, he did go through stretches of invisibility and was always good for a bad penalty late in a game. This was obviously a concern for the Rangers, who were not going to even come close to 3 years/$9 million, which was a rumored offer last week. Then the Oilers came in and blew everyone out of the water. He is a big body with good hands, but will he be able to keep his head in the game? That is a question that Edmonton will hopefully have answered for them in the positive. Still, this is a terrible deal for them, since much of his success last season was a byproduct of his line-mates. His career high in goals is 17 and points is 36. He is a good third liner, but that is all. I wanted the Rangers to keep him, but for that price, take him!